Consider a magnet. For it to work, it needs both negative and positive attraction. They balance each other to create the force of a magnet. Consider the cells of your body. We need both negative and positive ones. And what about electricity? Yup, more positive and negative.

So, what’s the problem? Too much of one can cause a major problem when you need balance. It would be great to have a positive attitude as much as possible. However, there are times when you just need to be negative. People that hold their negativity inside, generally explode. Whether literally or figuratively. If you hold in your negativity – it will find its way out. Generally, this will happen through the tone of voice you use, the words you choose or your body language.  Holding in negativity can cause many people to get sick. You need an outlet.

Learn to be negative in a constructive manner. Step 1: Stay calm! Step 2: If it needs to be verbalized, state what the “issue” is and what needs to happen to get to the result you desire. Placing blame or adding tone doesn’t help. Be factual. Step 3: Take a breath – you usually need one here. Step 4: Do a reality check. If no one is bleeding or dying, you might just need to “let it go”. Step 5: “Let it go” by breathing out and changing the subject immediately. The more you dwell on it, the longer you hang onto it and the more negative it becomes.

“But I am a Yes person and don’t like to cause conflict.” I am not asking you to cause conflict. I am asking you to let reality breath. You don’t have to be a jerk and you don’t have to let others be a jerk to you. Saying yes when you really mean no is an irritant to both you and the person to whom you said yes. When you are not truly committed, you don’t give it your best. Your words, your actions, your body language, your tone and your efforts will give you away.

How do you say no when you aren’t good at it? Practice it. Say it to yourself first. When you are deciding what to eat for breakfast, make a few suggestions to yourself and verbalize “no” to the ones you don’t want and a resounding “yes” to the one you truly do want. You won’t hurt your own feelings. You are just being honest in your decision. Then go get dressed by pulling out a few different outfits. Return the ones you don’t want to wear to your closet and tell each one, “no, thank you.” When you get to the one you are actually going to wear, let it know by saying, “yes, this is it.” You will find yourself practicing “no” more often than “yes”.  Time to go to work, but there is probably more than one way to get there. Think of the ways you are not going to go and say “no, thank you” to each one. Then when you think of the way you are going to go, verbalize, “I am choosing to not go the other ways, however I think this would be the best way to go.” Then get to work.

Once at work someone might ask you something that you feel will need a negative response (if you are being truly honest with yourself). If it is a clear “yes” or “no”, just smile and politely say “no, thank you.” You already practiced that one a few times earlier so it should be pretty easy. However, if it is not that simple and you think there is a better way, state that. You practiced that one by getting to work. If the answer is no, then what would turn it into a yes? Never lie or make something up. You will only feel worse, so stay true to yourself. In most instances a simple polite “no, thank you” does the trick.

Let your negativity out in a calm fashion. If you keep tucking it inside, it will ooze out of you without you even realizing it. Keep it in check and stay in charge. A little properly-placed negativity will balance out your overly positive side by letting you be true to yourself and others. If you truly are a negative person, that’s the subject of a different blog for a different time.

Setting the direction lets everyone know where they are attempting to go. It doesn’t mean that they have to get there exactly the same way. It does mean that everyone has the opportunity to get to the same end or result and put their efforts into getting there. Too many organizations do not set expectations appropriately or at all. When a client comes to me complaining about something an employee did, my first question to them is, “What is the expectation you set for that person?” I usually get the response of, “The what?” or “I just expect them to get it done.” If I get the “it” response I then ask further as to what “it” means. I normally get some vague response. With the answer of, “The what?” I explain to them that they got what they set as an expectation – confusion, frustration, not done because they didn’t know what was expected. Something as simple as remembering to give someone a deadline along with a task or giving an example of how you want the end result to come out will significantly reduce the confusion, frustration, and perception of ineffectiveness.

Once the direction has been clarified, it is now time to take the right people along. It is nice to give people job descriptions so everyone is on the same page as to what they are supposed to do. However, not everyone has the same skills even if they are in the same job. Take a look at the people around you and see who has what strengths and who has what weaknesses. Align the strengths with the tasks to be completed and support the weaknesses. Many assessment tools are available to help determine who has a tendency toward which skills. If they aren’t an employee, but a vendor or independent contractor that you are aligning with, make sure they have the skills and tools to do what it is that you need to get done. Many frustrated people align themselves with friends and family and then are disappointed because they don’t perform up to expectations (if they were even set in the first place). Pay attention to the ability to do the skills, not the social position.

The final effective piece to leadership is to let them know where they are during various intervals. People need feedback. If you were going to take a trip from California to New York, there are many ways to get there. If the only thing we tell people is to get there, they then must figure out how. Some may fly, some may drive, some may take other modes of transportation. If you need them there the next day (but didn’t tell them that), you will be highly disappointed with those that chose to drive or even those that booked their flight later in the week. If the expectations were set appropriately and everyone planned to fly to get there, there are still steps that need to be taken in order to complete the trip. When they make it to the airport on time to make the flight, it is nice to let them know you appreciate that they are there. Then they get on the plane, take the flight and disembark on the other end and make it to the hotel. Let them know you appreciate seeing them at the hotel. This is an over-simplified example to make a point that you need to set clear expectations and then let people know that they are appreciated and on the right track at various times throughout the process. If any of those critical steps were missed, they wouldn’t make it to the end result. So, look at critical steps and give feedback there.

People that are not given clear expectations nor given feedback as to how you feel they are meeting those expectations will tend to disappoint you, because they don’t know what you want or are looking at. In order for most people to figure it out, they will watch you and attempt to mimic you – or chase you. They figure that if you are doing something a certain way, then that must be the thing they should do or the path they should take. If you are okay with that and don’t mind being chased, then that might be your leadership style. However, I find most leaders want their followers to grow and contribute to the success of the journey. Then, one day, out of the group of followers may emerge another leader that can either lead with you or succeed you. If you have people chasing you, a new leader may just emerge by running you over and taking the lead spot and continue the race to the unknown.

Photo by Ambro http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1499

What went so horribly wrong? We didn’t match reality with expectations.  A salesperson came into the office to show us this great product that was going to be the wonder savior of the industry. It could do so many great things, reduce the number of employees we needed to get the jobs done, allow us to go on vacation and still know the company was running smoothly, and connect with our customers almost seamlessly. Was it too good to be true? Yes.

When we are looking at new technology, we need a plan. First, why do we need the system? What is currently lacking that the new technology is going to fill? We might not actually be lacking anything. The new technology might just be a shiny object that catches our eye. However, it is truly is going to fill a hole, then we need to define the hole. What is it that we expect it to accomplish?

Second, we need to see it in action. I highly recommend that you get a couple of referrals that are currently using the system and see how they use it. Get a free trial and actually test it out. Don’t just sign up for the free trial and then purchase it just because the time expired and you will “try” it out later. Schedule the time to give it a true run.

Third, most systems need to be set up. To accomplish the many things that the program promises, there is almost always some set up that must be done for it to be used effectively. This takes time and many people don’t schedule in the time to do this. They expect the system to just “work”. When you do set it up properly and take advantage of the various options it probably has, that is when you will recognize the true benefits.

Fourth, we need buy-in.  When you are asking your employees to do something that they don’t normally do, why should they change? What’s in it for them? It is great if it brings many benefits to the company, but what about the employees. Just promising it will make their job easier and more efficient doesn’t cut it. In fact, for a time, they will be less productive and have an increase in frustration just from the fact that they have not experienced the system before. Give them plenty of time for training which will mean you need a plan to assist them in getting their regular job done during this decrease in productivity.

Finally, we need to make sure the system is delivering on its promises. This might mean an occasional audit, checking to see if the increase in productivity is happening or if your employees went back to their old way, or checking the effectiveness of the system. Match the plan you made earlier to see if the hole you were planning on plugging is now plugged or if it just got wider. Are you satisfied with the system enough to become an advocate of the company or give them a recommendation?

You can have success with new systems when you pay attention to the return that you are getting from the use of it. Make sure you know you have a need, make a plan to get to know the system, educate your employees and be understanding during their temporary decrease in productivity, and then make sure reality is matching with expectations. There are many good systems that can help your company advance or deal with logistics, just take the time to make sure it is the right one for your situation.

Last night I was convincing our Toastmasters club to to start using the new website and our Facebook Page. You should have felt the apprehension in the room. Thoughts were swirling around:

Ah, another user name and password to remember.

What am I going to get out of this but more work?

What was wrong with the old system?

These are all great questions and pretty common whenever a new system is introduced to an organization. I was prepared to answer them all. After all, I had been using the new system for a month or so and I had the same questions when I started. However, because I took the time to learn it, set it up, test it, tweak it, and finally get to use it – now it is a piece of cake (or at least easy as pie).

To do this, I needed the group to have clear instructions as to what was expected of them and show them how cool the new tools are. The problem, I wasn’t sure if the Internet connection was going to be available and even if it was, was it going to work. My preparation consisted of creating a handout with the important screen shots and step-by-step what they would need to do and in what order when they got home. I also took some screen shots of the pages and pasted them into a PowerPoint presentation, just in case I couldn’t connect to the Internet. I was ready.

Show time! When I arrived at the City Hall where we meet I noted that we were not meeting in our usual room. The screen that I was relying on to be there was locked away and unavailable. The room was full of angles with sconces on every straight part of the walls. The wallpaper was light grey and there wasn’t a white wall to be had. Luckily for me, this was a small board room and I was able to find just enough wall to show the presentation. Remember, they also had the key screen shots in their handouts. And because the room was so small, I took advantage of having a member that was going to be in charge of large sections of the website take the keyboard as we walked through the program. If she can do, everyone can do it.

The group asked good questions as we went through the new site. Enthusiasm was rising. They could see how it was going to save them time and improve communications. BTW, the Internet connection worked just great. The only problem we had was while I was showing the Facebook Page, I had a couple people trying to send me an Instant message. Closed that down quickly. Problem is, I don’t know what they were trying to say to me. Lesson learned, when showing a live Facebook Page, remember to shut down the chats, but that’s a post for another time.

What happened to customer service?  Just because we have some new technology, should all of our customers be forced to use it?  I do agree in setting a level of service expectation and then living up to it.  However, does that mean we can’t accommodate reasonable requests.  If we don’t start looking for ways that we can easily serve our customers, someone else will.  I just hope it won’t be the government.

Cost: $49 per connection

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Presentations aren’t all that different from the joys or sorrows of watching movies.  There are presentations that work great in a large venue while other ones are meant to remain in a board room.  If you have to do presentations of any kind whether a sales presentation, presenting your case to your boss, convincing your neighbors to join together on National Night out or doing a keynote, you need to pay attention to the logistics.

There are three main things to consider in any type of presentation: venue, content, and audience.  The venue is where your presentation will take place.  If you are in a large room with people far away from you, you will need to be big.  Large gestures, lots of vocal inflection, and a good sound system.  If they are right in front of you, the presentation can be toned down a bit and utilize more facial expressions than flailing arms (you might accidentally hit someone and whether intended or not, it could be a problem).

The content of your presentation may have to be changed depending on the logistics of the situation.  If you are doing one-on-one training with someone that is familiar with the system, you can probably cover a lot of ground.  However, if you are doing a technical presentation to the masses, you may have to slow it down and be more general.  Some content works well in large venues such as stories and public references while small venues will allow for more personalization and specialization.

The audience should always be considered as well.  If you aren’t sure to whom you will be presenting, ask for details.  Many professional speakers have a pre-program questionnaire that they request to be filled out prior to preparing for the presentation so they can tailor it to the appropriate people.  One presentation I did had a mean age of 65 in the audience.  I wore my hair up and my business suit with pearls – instant credibility.  The next presentation was to a group that was in their 20s and 30s and I dressed a lot more casual with dangly earrings and my hair down.  The language I used with the older audience was more proper while I used more slang and technology terms with the younger crowd.

No matter when and where you are presenting, you never want the audience to run out of the room or even feel like they want to.  Taking into consideration the venue, adjusting the content, and presenting to the right audience will help people want to stay longer, watch your presentation again, and even enjoy the show.  They might not even require popcorn.

If you use Social Media in your business, have a plan.  Not only what you are attempting to get out of it, how it will be used, but also who is responsible for it and the appropriate conduct by your employees.  Social Media can be a great asset to an organization and it can be a great detriment – depends on how you handle it.  Ignoring it is not an option.

One big question posed to me lately has been about people having their own presence on Social Media that isn’t affiliated with the organization.  There has been quite a bit about this in the news media.  Some organizations include in their employee handbooks that employees cannot make posts that are in conflict with or negatively reflect on the business on their personal sites.  You need to clearly identify rules.  Search for Employees and Social Media and you will get a host of recommendations for your employee handbook.  Many of them state things such as not allowing the company logo on their personal sites, managers not befriending employees, not allowing personal posting during business hours, and never disclosing any company business in their posts.  This is not an exhaustive list, but just a few common points I found in many of the articles. Always check with a human resources attorney to make sure you are in compliance in your state.

The “Yes” comes from the fact that you can get people to think of themselves in situations that they may not have put themselves in. The “No” comes from the fact that there are grey areas.  When we discuss the grey areas, it gets them to realize that life isn’t all that black and white.  That they make different decisions in different situations.

I had one woman come up to me on break last year during an ethics session who admitted acting unethically in a situation.  She was literally shaking as she recalled the situation to me.  The only reason she was so upset was the fact that she realized, she had the possibility of getting caught.  I do believe she did finally get caught.

I find it very interesting how people get sucked into group think and do things that their intellect would normally tell them not to do.  The next time you are faced with something that you wouldn’t choose to do on your own, step back and rethink it, and then don’t do it.  Your first instinct is usually the right one.  Your guts do more than just process your food.